"Oh that I were an angel." I have had to deal with this same plea for the past couple of weeks. I worked as a Wilderness Counselor for troubled youth. I became very attached to them. Circumstances developed that forced me to quit that job. I felt like I was abandoning my young friends. I had feelings that embarrass me to reveal. Feelings of indispensability. I allowed myself to suppose that without me, they wouldn't be able to progress. I most certainly sinned in this wish that I could bless everyone and not just those allotted to me my a wise and loving Father. I don't know about Alma but for me these feelings were a mixed bag. I genuinely hope for the recovery and blessing of each of these youth. Still, the supposition that I am a necessary part of that process, discounts the power of God and his myriad other servants. It presupposes that it is me who changes people, that it is my light, my effort and sacrifice. That is wrong. It is Christ who changes people. I can be nothing more than a tiny mirror which, if I am humble and worthy, can reflect the light of Christ into someone else's life. I must let God decide who, when, how and how much. It reminded me of that great missionary song: I'll go where YOU want me to go, dear Lord... I be...say...do...what YOU want me to be....say....do.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Alma - Chapter 29
"Oh that I were an angel." I have had to deal with this same plea for the past couple of weeks. I worked as a Wilderness Counselor for troubled youth. I became very attached to them. Circumstances developed that forced me to quit that job. I felt like I was abandoning my young friends. I had feelings that embarrass me to reveal. Feelings of indispensability. I allowed myself to suppose that without me, they wouldn't be able to progress. I most certainly sinned in this wish that I could bless everyone and not just those allotted to me my a wise and loving Father. I don't know about Alma but for me these feelings were a mixed bag. I genuinely hope for the recovery and blessing of each of these youth. Still, the supposition that I am a necessary part of that process, discounts the power of God and his myriad other servants. It presupposes that it is me who changes people, that it is my light, my effort and sacrifice. That is wrong. It is Christ who changes people. I can be nothing more than a tiny mirror which, if I am humble and worthy, can reflect the light of Christ into someone else's life. I must let God decide who, when, how and how much. It reminded me of that great missionary song: I'll go where YOU want me to go, dear Lord... I be...say...do...what YOU want me to be....say....do.
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